I have been reflected all day on what has happened over the last year and wow what a year!...
It was a good year of training consistently, learning how to like myself and finally dropping weight.. At the beginning of last year, I had made a vow to start working on me... You know that is a really hard task. I spent time with counselors (mental and nutritional) and one of the things that had been blocking my weight loss was my mental health. I didn't like me. Over the past years, I avoided looking in the mirror to see my whole body.. When I saw pictures of me, I didn't see how healthy I looked or that I had the scars of having a wonderful child, who is now going to college next year, or a wife to the best husband in the world who loves me no matter how I looked and called me his beautiful wife every day. No.. I would find all my flaws and focus on how I needed to improve my arms, my stomach, my butt and listen to the evil voices that I heard over the years... I was a hot crazy mess.... I have learned and I am still learning that I need to start liking myself. WOW... is that all, I can be who I want if I "Like myself and believe in ME?!" That seems way too easy.. but it isn't.. So, over the year, that is what I have been doing.. focusing on improving me.
I started to look at the positives and listened to what my family was saying about me. I started to get rid of the negative thoughts that I have accumulated in myself over the last 45 years and put them in their place.. very hard to do.. and things started to change.. now.. this took almost 10 months before I started to see some change... but I am now seeing change.. I now look at myself and tell myself that I have accomplished a lot in my life.
- I have completed 5 half ironmans over the last 3 years
- I was able to successfully train and complete 2 marathons... this has been a goal for me since I was in my 20's.. So exciting.
- I have been successful in my career and I finally got a promotion.
- Finally, I have a wonderful family that have and always have supported me over the years and they love who I am.
Oh.. I need to add... since I started to believe in myself... I finally did it... I signed up to complete a full IM. I will be training over the next few months for IM Chattanooga... Yes, I watched my triathlon team this past fall and realized that with consistent training, a new mental health and the support from my family and friends that I can do it.... So this new year has many new challenges and I am happy to say I am looking forward to new year..
Here's to a new year!!
Speedy Turtle aka Eling
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